I’ve been having some pretty rough months lately. Once Wednesday, I woke up, and I told myself “ I cant bare to go to work today”. I took an emergency leave; it was an emergency of the self. I woke Charlene up at 10am, grumpiness and all; she joined me for a smoke. We planned out a nice day out, shopping, movie and alcohol.. how soul healing is that? It couldn’t have gotten better.
Before our movie, we had our “Charlene-Kathy” ritual which comes in handy for shit filled days and fun and laughter. One Mango-strawberry margarita for Kathy and one lime margarita for Charlene please!!! Not any margarita, it’s got to be Chili’s top shelf margarita. We had our usual 3 for all, and enjoyed the sour taste of godly nectar on our tongues.
In the midst of all that, I got a call from Leon. “Hunnie, where are you?? I have a surprise for you!!”. OUUU….how exciting!!! A surprise for me, its almost valentines day, and I remember pointing out a beautiful piece of lingerie that we saw online….maybe it arrived early I thought. Leon arrived within a few minutes. EMPTY HANDED. “Where’s the surprise hunnie?”. He reached in his pocket (it couldn’t have been my lingerie, darn), and brought out a little ugly sparrow. Charlene and I were so excited, we immediately rushed to name the little one. Charlene settled with Casper, I settled with Poncho. Currently named: Happy Feet @ Casper @ Poncho. The three of us hurried up to the pet shop, and picked out some bird feed.
Poncho’s first trip to the city was to the cinema. We heard the little tweet chirping away throughout the movie, but there was nothing much we could do. After the movie, we picked up a free sauce trey and a drink mixer from McDonalds’ and hurried down to the bathroom. Since I had the long nails, I pried its mouth open, and Charlene shoved some bird feed down its throat. Pretty scary, I was afraid that I might tear its little beak and Charlene was afraid of choking the little thing. But all was fine.
We took it home, and I attempted feeding time again. This time, Poncho looked excited when it saw its signature McDonalds’ free mixer feeder. As soon as I placed it near its mouth, it gobbled the entire tip. I couldn’t believe the amount that little thing can eat, and I think Poncho has the most efficient bowel system in the world!!! At first we were pretty skeptical that the bird would survive, but judging from the appetite, this little one had a long way to go in life. Charlene and I had our fair share of trying to save birds, it’s quite a tough job and it’s almost impossible for a birdie to survive without its mother.
It’s been two weeks now, and the plan was to wait for Poncho to be big enough to be let go. It’s been two weeks of waking up in the middle of the night to feed it, two weeks of taking it to work, two weeks of travelling with it in the cab and LRT, and two weeks of teaching it how to fly. I have to admit, the ugly tweet has grown on me. I cant imagine not having it around.
I have an ethical dilemma, I don’t believe in keeping birds, coz it’s just not right. Secretly deep down inside, I’m hoping that when I set Poncho free, it would love me enough to not go. Poncho still feeds from the mixer, it hasn’t learned how to peck, which is quite worrying. At the same time, it’s starting to learn how to fly, and I think it’s about time I get it a bigger home- a cage. But when I get a cage, will I ever be able to let it go? If I let it go, will it ever be able to fend for itself?
Sigh, its funny how a little sparrow can brighten your life so much, it was the best Valentine’s gift, better than any lingerie piece.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Have a good one Quintin
I met this boy last year…his name was Quintin….short, cute, and shy, he looked like a little boy. Every time I walked in the house, he would be lying down in front of the TV, fitted perfectly on the two seated sofa, he would jump up, run into the room and put on a shirt that he picked up off the floor. I was shocked when I found out that he was 27, and even more shocked when I heard of stories….apparently, he was known as the terror of the family. Leon and Vernon were his cousins and housemates, they paid for his little room in their apartment, made sure he had his meals and pretty much tried their best to keep him out of trouble.
Quintin was always his daddy’s boy. Apparently, his dad was a bigger terror, and they made the perfect partners in crime terrorizing the town together. The mother was always distant; they never really had a relationship. Two years ago, Quintin’s father took his life, he set himself on fire, and died two days later on the hospital bed…unrecognizable. From then on, Quintin was pretty much homeless, jumping from one friends house to another, mixed with the wrong crowd, and landed in some pretty deep shit once in a while.
Poor boy I thought, every time I looked at him. Leon and Vernon always worried about his drug abuse, they say that staying in the same house with Quintin kept him off the bad company. He reminded me so much of my brother. Quintin was good with his hands, he broke almost everything he touched, but repaired anything that was spoilt. I remember walking into the house once to find an ear bud sticking out of the TV. Apparently, Quintin had figured out how to fix the speakers to their little TV by sticking an ear bud in it. Only Quintin.
A few weeks ago, Leon and I spoke about the possibility of sending him to a rehab, the same rehab that my brother was in. If Zachy could do it, I was certain that Quintin could do it to coz they reminded me of two peas in a pod. Leon posed the idea to Quintin, almost sure that he would disagree, but to our surprise….he said okey. Quintin was pretty hyped up about the whole thing, he asked me about the rehab on a few occasions and he told me one night in his drunken state that he would love to check in rehab the very same day. He pulled me aside and told me how he felt that he was going insane, and how he didn’t kno what he was thinking or even doing sometimes. I remember saying that it’s normal when you’ve been on drugs for so long, but I also told him that being willing to go to rehab is a very brave and strong thing to do. We made a few calls, arranged for an interview, and Leon made some calls to gather the finance, and the plan was all set to go…..we were suppose to check in tomorrow, Wednesday, Febuary 16th.
Two days ago, I got a call at 2 pm from Leon, he said “Kathy, can you call me back, its an emergency!!”. I hate emergencies, its always bad news. Leon sounded so different, panicked, sad, scared, all at once. He told me that Quintin had passed away. I immediately rushed to GH, and walked about to find Leon. There he was, sitting on a stone with his head down. I hugged him as tight as I could, as he told me how Quintin had committed suicide by jumping off a building. He survived the jumped, but passed away in the hospital two hours later. We walked together into the emergency room, and sat beside his lifeless body. What a weird feeling.
There were some complications at the hospital. Apparently, Quintin had converted to Islam two years ago, but nobody knew. The body was taken by Jabatan Agama Islam Selangor (JAIS), and they were to organize the funeral. There were four of us present at the hospital; we took the opportunity to say a decade of the rosary for him, before he was taken away. The funeral was the next day, not many family members turned up at the Muslim cemetery. They brought in the body, all wrapped up in white. One of the members from the JAIS committee took lead, and explained the process to us. The white was to represent his purity, he was brought onto the earth pure, and that’s the way he should be put back into the earth. They opened the white cloth, and showed us his face. They did a grate job covering up the bruises. He looked so….Quintin. The few of us that were there took the opportunity to put the sign of the cross on his forehead. The people from JAIS were not as anal as we thought they would be, they were pretty understanding, polite and respectful.
We gathered in silence, as they read the verses from the Quaran. The rest of us prayed in silence. I guess we were all praying for pretty much the same thing, it didn’t really matter who or when or why, the ritual was peaceful and important. They placed him in the ground, we couldn’t help but keep the “throw in a rock” ritual. After burying him, a few people poured water over the grave. They said that, when you pour water, and grass grows over the grave, the grass will pray for Quintin when nobody is praying for him. I thought it was pretty sweet. The representatives from JAIS explained to us that we could go visit the grave anytime we wanted, but we were not allowed to conduct any rituals in the cemetery. I guess it was a pretty fair and reasonable deal. They apologized for having done what they did, and they thanked us for our corporation. All the things I’ve heard about JAIS since I was young, they are pretty intimidating, but I guess there are some exceptions to the bunch.
I thought about Quintin these past few nights, and then I thought about my 20 year old cousin that took her life a few years ago. The thought of suicide. All those things that they teach in religion, about the souls never being forgiven. Not to be disrespectful, but it can’t be true. How can anyone be in their right mind to commit suicide? Can life be more scary than jumping down a building?? I cant imagine Quintin as himself saying “ I’m going to die”. So sweetheart, rest in peace. I hope that wherever you may be, it’s better than the life that you had on earth. I’m sorry that life was tough for you, I’m sorry that you didn’t have enough love, I’m sorry that we nobody realized how much you were going through, and most of all, I’m sorry that we were too late for you. Please know, that there are people who will miss you, and there are people who loved you. I hope you’re reunited with your daddy, go paint the town red with your new found wings hunnie!!!
Quintin was always his daddy’s boy. Apparently, his dad was a bigger terror, and they made the perfect partners in crime terrorizing the town together. The mother was always distant; they never really had a relationship. Two years ago, Quintin’s father took his life, he set himself on fire, and died two days later on the hospital bed…unrecognizable. From then on, Quintin was pretty much homeless, jumping from one friends house to another, mixed with the wrong crowd, and landed in some pretty deep shit once in a while.
Poor boy I thought, every time I looked at him. Leon and Vernon always worried about his drug abuse, they say that staying in the same house with Quintin kept him off the bad company. He reminded me so much of my brother. Quintin was good with his hands, he broke almost everything he touched, but repaired anything that was spoilt. I remember walking into the house once to find an ear bud sticking out of the TV. Apparently, Quintin had figured out how to fix the speakers to their little TV by sticking an ear bud in it. Only Quintin.
A few weeks ago, Leon and I spoke about the possibility of sending him to a rehab, the same rehab that my brother was in. If Zachy could do it, I was certain that Quintin could do it to coz they reminded me of two peas in a pod. Leon posed the idea to Quintin, almost sure that he would disagree, but to our surprise….he said okey. Quintin was pretty hyped up about the whole thing, he asked me about the rehab on a few occasions and he told me one night in his drunken state that he would love to check in rehab the very same day. He pulled me aside and told me how he felt that he was going insane, and how he didn’t kno what he was thinking or even doing sometimes. I remember saying that it’s normal when you’ve been on drugs for so long, but I also told him that being willing to go to rehab is a very brave and strong thing to do. We made a few calls, arranged for an interview, and Leon made some calls to gather the finance, and the plan was all set to go…..we were suppose to check in tomorrow, Wednesday, Febuary 16th.
Two days ago, I got a call at 2 pm from Leon, he said “Kathy, can you call me back, its an emergency!!”. I hate emergencies, its always bad news. Leon sounded so different, panicked, sad, scared, all at once. He told me that Quintin had passed away. I immediately rushed to GH, and walked about to find Leon. There he was, sitting on a stone with his head down. I hugged him as tight as I could, as he told me how Quintin had committed suicide by jumping off a building. He survived the jumped, but passed away in the hospital two hours later. We walked together into the emergency room, and sat beside his lifeless body. What a weird feeling.
There were some complications at the hospital. Apparently, Quintin had converted to Islam two years ago, but nobody knew. The body was taken by Jabatan Agama Islam Selangor (JAIS), and they were to organize the funeral. There were four of us present at the hospital; we took the opportunity to say a decade of the rosary for him, before he was taken away. The funeral was the next day, not many family members turned up at the Muslim cemetery. They brought in the body, all wrapped up in white. One of the members from the JAIS committee took lead, and explained the process to us. The white was to represent his purity, he was brought onto the earth pure, and that’s the way he should be put back into the earth. They opened the white cloth, and showed us his face. They did a grate job covering up the bruises. He looked so….Quintin. The few of us that were there took the opportunity to put the sign of the cross on his forehead. The people from JAIS were not as anal as we thought they would be, they were pretty understanding, polite and respectful.
We gathered in silence, as they read the verses from the Quaran. The rest of us prayed in silence. I guess we were all praying for pretty much the same thing, it didn’t really matter who or when or why, the ritual was peaceful and important. They placed him in the ground, we couldn’t help but keep the “throw in a rock” ritual. After burying him, a few people poured water over the grave. They said that, when you pour water, and grass grows over the grave, the grass will pray for Quintin when nobody is praying for him. I thought it was pretty sweet. The representatives from JAIS explained to us that we could go visit the grave anytime we wanted, but we were not allowed to conduct any rituals in the cemetery. I guess it was a pretty fair and reasonable deal. They apologized for having done what they did, and they thanked us for our corporation. All the things I’ve heard about JAIS since I was young, they are pretty intimidating, but I guess there are some exceptions to the bunch.
I thought about Quintin these past few nights, and then I thought about my 20 year old cousin that took her life a few years ago. The thought of suicide. All those things that they teach in religion, about the souls never being forgiven. Not to be disrespectful, but it can’t be true. How can anyone be in their right mind to commit suicide? Can life be more scary than jumping down a building?? I cant imagine Quintin as himself saying “ I’m going to die”. So sweetheart, rest in peace. I hope that wherever you may be, it’s better than the life that you had on earth. I’m sorry that life was tough for you, I’m sorry that you didn’t have enough love, I’m sorry that we nobody realized how much you were going through, and most of all, I’m sorry that we were too late for you. Please know, that there are people who will miss you, and there are people who loved you. I hope you’re reunited with your daddy, go paint the town red with your new found wings hunnie!!!
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